Charo Washer had grown up in the church and worked with her husband in missionary work for 12 years before being born again. In the following 19 minute video, she shares her testimony which is mostly about how God brought her to the point of discovering that she was not born again despite all of her involvement in the church.
For a deeper understanding of her “struggle of faith,” see: categories, Discernment, The Sinner’s Prayer. This post on the sinner’s prayer gives information from Jonathan Edwards work in assessing the conversion experiences of those who professed to be born-again during the great awakenings of 1735 and 1740. He identified a five-stage process that occurs in conversion.
The Five Stages: 1) horror of being eternally lost; 2), the sinner’s attempt to stop sinning via his will power; 3), realization that only God can save him from sin; 4), conviction, the sinner beginning to see that God’s judgment is just; 5), awakening to God with genuine religious affections.
The following notable men of God spent a considerable amount of time working through their own struggle of faith: John Calvin, 12 years; Wesley, 23 years; Whitefield, 10 years; Fox, 12 years; Edwards, 5 years; Brainerd, 9 years; Newton, 6 years; Spurgeon, 4 years…. I am left thinking, “Where am I on this scale after 15 years in the struggle?” The criteria of stage 3 and 4 are very familiar to me; not so with 5. I must examine myself more carefully.
All of these men were not born-again until after a “struggle of faith,” they did not sign a card and instantly become born-again like converts wrongly believe they do these days. The criteria can also be used by you to assess, via self-examination, the current stage you are in regarding your own struggle of faith. To see the Sinner’s Prayer post, see: Categories: Man-centered Spirituality.
Mat 7:13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.
Mat 7:14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.
2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.
Following are more scripture texts about examining oneself from the Treasury of Scripture Knowledge, cross references of 2Co 13:5: Examine: Psa_17:3, Psa_26:2, Psa_119:59, Psa_139:23-24; Lam_3:40; Eze_18:28; Hag_1:5, Hag_1:7; 1Co_11:28, 1Co_11:31; Gal_6:4; Heb_4:1, Heb_12:15; 1Jo_3:20-21; Rev_2:5, Rev_3:2-3