In his first week in office President Asterisk has done his old boss proud. In just six days, lunch bucket Joe has signed 36 executive orders and put tens of thousands of jobs at risk. He’s cancelled major construction projects like the Keystone XL pipeline and the border wall — resulting in lost jobs for the very unions who endorsed him. He is reestablishing a moratorium on energy exploration on federal lands and rejoined the Paris Agreement on climate change. These orders will cause further job losses in the energy sector and lost revenue in states that supported him. If that were not enough, his relaxation of border control and immigration enforcement will result in an influx of illegal immigrants competing for the remaining jobs. Luckily, Joe has also thoughtfully issued and order expanding food assistance programs. Thousands of unemployed workers may need it.
